First Impressions

I have everything before me to teach my daughter about life. One of the things I need to write down now so I can remember it is how to read people. I am going to have to teach Arielle how to see others so it works in her favor. But here is the trick to what I will be teaching her. You can only see in others what you know from life. This is why children are so innocent because they have not experienced forgiveness. To know anything you must have experienced it in your past to hold feelings about it. If you see bad things in others you have to remember that you experienced bad things in your life and this is how you know what you are looking at in others. Do you understand this?

Okay, let's go on. When you do see these bad things you have to search your heart and make a choice. When you experienced the bad things in you own life did you forgive yourself or the others involved? Did you let the bad feelings go? Did you let the blame go? If you have not just remember that your feelings of unforgiving hold filters on how you see others. If you hold on to things from the past you can only see others in a poor light. When you let things go you can begin to see the potential in everyone.

So don't be afraid of what others think about you and their first impressions just worry about what you see in others. I hope you see great things in everyone. So when you make your first impressions just know that what you think about others says more about you than it does about anyone.

Cornerstones of the Foundation

A part of the foundation for Arielle is setting a place for us together so she knows that she has unconditional love. It is important for her to know that she has it from both her parents. She does not need to go through the thought process of wondering what we are going to do or say to her when she makes a mistake.

She needs to know just how we will react with any mistake she makes and that is with love. She needs to know that we want her to think for herself someday and for now we have some options to show her so she can make the best choice for herself. She needs to know that mistakes are for learning and are great for knowing what doesn't work best. She needs to know that there is no number of mistakes that she can make that will stop me from being kind and peaceful with her. She needs to know that I will not put conditions on her or else I will stop showing my affection. She needs to know that her parents are that shelter from the storm. She needs to know that we have time for her. She needs to know that we will listen and tell her what we hear her saying. She needs to know that we have opinions for her but she has the true answers for her own path.

She needs to know that we love her that much and probably more that she could ever know.

Foundations of being

Babies learn from example. As Lori and I set the foundation for Arielle in her first 9 months Arielle will do most of her learning from watching us. She will begin to trust that we will always be around for her and this will help her to feel that she will be able to venture out away from us as parents later. She will enjoy life more not having to hang on to mother and fathers leg in public places.

Arielle will also learn how to handle stress from us. She will see the world as we do. If her parents reactions to stress are mostly over-reactions then this will be how she learns how to take care of troublesome situations herself. How can she know what being calm and forgiving looks like if she is not able to see it from her primary care givers? It is the consistency of the reactions that are programmed in the long run. If you show depression more often than you show happiness then the world looks depressing to the child and are more likely to have anxiety disorders.

Children also learn how to be respectful, resourceful and patient from their parents. I have much to learn myself but in the long run it is the face that I show her most often that is seen as how the world is for her. I am glad to say that we sing songs and look at objects now. I take time to explain to her what she is looking at and I hope that this helps her to see that I will take the time to answer the questions she has latter on in life. I also plan to help her learn how to make key deacons by herself. This is all stuff that will come in time and I will write about when it come up.

Camera shy

Arielle's first illusion

When Arielle takes a bath she likes to hold on to washcloths. She holds it over her tummy, chest and hands and it keeps her warm. The cloth holds the warm bath water on her exposed skin and she feels comfort in being covered in this nakedness. But the washcloths hold all the stuff that is in the bath water and that stuff can't be good for her. So we don't let her suck the water out of the cloth.

Arielle on the other hand has no idea that the water is bad for her and she likes the idea that she can get something out of the cloth when she sucks on it. It is a warm wet liquid and logic would tell her that this is like mothers milk. It does not taste like milk but it has the same characteristics and it can't be bad.

Her first observed illusion is that she knows what is best for her at this time. I am telling you this so you understand why she may feel sad when we take it away from her. She becomes highly upset when we don't let her suck on the cloth and she believes that she has been shown an injustice. How is it that we have any right to take something so great from her, she must think. (maturity is the ability to control your emotions.)

(most illusions are when we use emotions to bypass logic) The illusion is that the cloth is good for her. It has made her happy to find something that is like her breast milk. But it is not breast milk and the illusion must be broken. It is the mind and not the heart that has created the feeling of happiness. Her limited logic has told her that she has found milk outside of mother's breast. So the mind creates feelings of sadness because it hold an illusion of unreasonable logic. There was no reason to believe that she had milk. Reason is not a feeling. Reason is a process of learned observations. We add up the things that we have learned in life. And all we know is all we are. Thus we expand our world when we stay in learning mode. We can only find happiness when we follow our hearts.

*Orange writing are lessons learn from Bill Readler and Global Centers.

All she knows is the happiness she follows

Arielle smiles now when she has not seen us in what seems to her as awhile. It could have been all night or as little as an hour but when she hear our voice again she offers us a smile. I have no idea what the voice tells her or if she even has an inner voice at this age. I would say that she has a feeling and is able to respond to the feelings she has toward us.

This allowing herself to feel happy must be some form of inner voice. It must guide her and the happiness must be some sort of tool that she uses to know when it is time to communicate that she is not happy. Like when she is hungry or bored. It is as though it is natural to follow our feelings to survive, or should I say follow our happiness. At this time of life following it doesn't seem so irresponsible.

As adults, following our happiness would be completely irresponsible, or so we believe for now. I will follow this line of thought as Arielle grows more and I will observe the responsibilty of allowing happiness as time goes on. There will be choices to be made and directions to follow and I will see how following our feelings works out for her.

I will say for now that the only thing that I see that would undermind this trian of thought would be when her ego creates a feeling that holds an illusion that blinds her from the truth.

This will be a first part of learning the foundations for Arielle.

The Voice at work in all of us

The voice is at work in all of us. The intention of all man kind is goodness. When you read the book Freakonomics you will find the first chapter a bit disheartening only to have the chapter end with the notion that about 90% of everyone will be honest even when left unsupervised.

The ideal voice

The voice we have in our head tells us of the great things we can have in out lives. It gives us visions of big houses and fast cars. Almost half of all teens believe that they will be famous one day and the other half want to save the world. This voice is a gift and can help us to ask for what we desire. When we have to commit to the effort to achieve our visions of grander we fold.

What is going on with the voice? Little things tend to add up and the visions get blurred. The heart gets broken or our failures look like personality defects and the voice turns on us. It may not always be the big issues that makes us compromise our desires. It may be a bunch of little things that our ego sees as being just to much to overcome. The voice tells us of an easy way out and our dreams give way to the comfort zone.

If you are young and reading this get committed to your desires and do not compromises your visions. If you are older, dust off the old dreams, pump up the old songs that moved you once and commit to living out your life with passion. You may not know this but it takes just as much commitment to do nothing as it does to have everything. In other words it takes effort to stand still in a life of motion. It is all about choice. If you are stuck in the comfort zone the pain you feel is your potential passing you by. I say passing because life is always in motion. Depression comes from a hidden anger. The anger is just built up potential looking for it's propose or expression.

You know exactly what you want now and you may just have to sit still and listen to a repressed heart that has been quieted by years of the egos lack of self respect. You are worth more than you will ever know and the heart knows what is right for you. Follow the heart. The heart may feel the fear that the ego brings but the ego creates the doubt.

The ego thinks it is alone in the world but the heart calls out to others and when it makes contact ask for some help from the ones that cross your path. The ego says "you are being childish" and the heart says "but I am also happy".

Wayne Dyer says "so many men have been killed at war and we have lost so many lives that have gone unlived. Those men did not have the chance to fulfill their propose in life and we can not afford anyone else to not contribute their gifts to the world."

Voice of Love

I have to post this message. I hope it's not to late for you to hear.

What is it in us that looks for love? What is it that allows love to be given and to come into our lives? What part of us see the best in others? When the voice calls listen. When this voice speaks to you stop what your are doing. If you do not hear this voice be still and you will hear it. This voice is in everyone of us. Those that bring bad or good emotions up for us are really just helping you back to the point where you can listen for this voice. Everything that happens to us is just a part of a plan to help us see what is true. This voice is truth and really the only truth that is congruent in all belief systems and religions. Allow this voice to sing to you every waking moment. Allow it to inspire you to sing to others. If you see sadness then hold the responsibility to make it better. If you see beauty express it so that others know that it is normal to be appreciate beauty.

What is it in us that looks for love? It is the love inside us that looks for love in others. This is a law of attraction. Everything else we create in this would is an illusion made from the ego.

Don't let your ego stand in the way of you showing as much love as you have. If you find it diffecult to show love then see where it is that you are being hard on yourself. You can only show as much love to others as you have for yourself. This is also one of the laws of attraction. We gravitate to those that have as much self love as we have for ourselves. It helps us feel better about our believe system. We have to dare to go beyoud what we believe and what others think to really show our truth.

I have to write this stuff because I have to know what I believe so I can teach my daughter. I can't let my personal stuff get in the way of her growing up and being all that she can be.

More on the Voice

When babies are near each other and one cries the other cries. Most call this an empathetic reaction. Here for just one minute I would like to call it a reaction of attraction. In other words there is an subconscious reaction that tells the baby not crying that something is wrong in the room. Because babies do not yet believe that they are alone in the world if something is wrong with another baby it must be happening to them also. In adult life this would take years of meditation in order to understand this concept. If something is wrong with someone else it is also affecting me. One of the hardest things to learn when healing the ego is that we are not alone in the world.

When adults are together in a room the maturity level will rise to greatest expectations of the common collective. In other words if you walk into a room and hold your head high and expect more of the others in the room you can raise the maturity level and respect level. If you are the one being immature and not holding your feelings in tact you may have a hard time showing your ass in the presence of such a self respecting crowd.

I'm back

I'm back and I am here to write some more. I have been reading about the use of the inner voice. We all have a voice inside of us that keeps us on the right track. It's called a conscious. It is rarely tuaght to children and Arielle will learn from me and her mother how this little voice works. I was told to always put my plate in the dishwasher and never be late. I was taught some useful stuff that kept me alive but it is only with the little voice that I take the responsibility for where I am now in my life. It is only with the little voice that I forgive myself and any blame that I put out on anyone for my sadness that I am able to change my life. That is powerful. The more responsibility that I hold for my life the more power I hold for change. I have to show Arielle that the little voice is at work in my life and it can lead me to happiness. Arielle has to learn that there is something more to life than self gratification. The little voice helps us know ethics and with it we can be proud of who we are. With this pride we can give without the need for return. With this voice we can listen without the need to be right. With this voice I can write without the need for support. Enjoy the pictures with love.